Thanksgivingologist

I’m a traditionalist.  So I love holidays and gatherings and special occasion food and doing certain things because that’s the way my mom always did.  But, I’m not such a conformist that our circle and our celebrations haven’t widened and changed as we have added new family, adjusted to schedules and adopted new customs that make everyone feel welcome. Making people feel welcome, fed and cared about is what I love most about holidays. 

As a Canadian with family in the U.S., I have been able to occasionally and enthusiastically participate in American Thanksgiving. It’s always fun. Canadian Thanksgiving in October is my favourite holiday and we always make it a big deal, but it’s different from the all consuming four days south of the border in November.

  The last two years have been tough worldwide.  I have begun to understand, in a new way, our deep need as humans to be connected to one another.  Perhaps this new understanding is true for most of us.  We have been kept apart and restricted in so many of the usual ways from our relationships and how we maintain them and we have felt deeply that loss and deprivation.   We are anxious to reunite. At the same time, the state of the world, politics and social issues have created fissures in relationships that have, in some instances, widened to huge chasms between us.

So it’s interesting. 

Despite all of that, since early November, with the loosening of restrictions and the opportunity to once again celebrate Thanksgiving in the more traditional ways, I have been observing the buildup and anticipation of this year’s celebrations. I’m watching from my Northern perch this year and as a microcosm of what’s happening worldwide it seems hopeful, which is saying something. 

The news would convince us that human relations are so far in the tank that willing, openhearted gatherings are impossible.  And yet, that same news, shows long lineups at airports, gas stations and highways of people going to great lengths and expense and some, through terrible weather, to gather.  People are coming out of their camps and heading home to some of the people they have been avoiding, blocking and deleting all year.  Yes, some are coming out armed and apprehensive for those conversations with the family ists.  You know, the feminist, enviromentalist, socialist, narcisscist, racist, activist, economist, secessionist, antagonist, communist, capitalist, chauvinist, exhibitionist, psychologist, aromatherapist and I know you know some more.  (Chances are you packed a little ist of your own). But here you are sacrificing money, sleep, time, peace, energy and effort to be in each other’s company.  And so that’s something, right?  I’m holding onto that and I’m grateful to see it. Maybe if you’re listing things today the most important thing to be thankful for is the occasion, ability and desire for connection, and for those who would fly through a blizzard for the possibility that we can take off the armour and assumptions of ill intent for four days, and just be family. The ties that bind us are powerful and lasting. Maybe the only “ist” that matters is the ability to coexist.

And if prolongist was a word, maybe we could find a way to make it last.